LIFE LESSONS I HAD TO LEARN THE HARD WAY

One week ago our team ran our second ever retreat for our client community at Health Pillars. The retreat was more than I could have imagined, and far surpassed my expectations - every single person that showed up was vulnerable and courageous! Such an incredible experience to witness incredible breathroughs, realizations and powerful ephiphanies.

At the retreat I told my story, and shared 6 life lessons that I learned the hard way on my fitness journey. A lot of what I shared was uncomfortable, and some of it I had never shared before. By sharing our stories we are able to help each other see the power in vulnerability.

The first lesson I shared was “If You Invalidate Your Pain, You Will Never Grow From It”

I grew up in a house on the lake 45minutes out of town which sounds like every child's dream - boating, horse back riding, and playing in the lake.

My entire life I was told that I was “lucky” that my parents were happily married, and I knew that we were a well-off middle class family.

I never felt like it was acceptable to complain, or whine or even be upset because “other people had it worse than me”.

But growing up I suffered with body dysmorphia, terrible acne and had a breast reduction at the age of 17 because I couldn’t handle the sexual attention that I got from men that were older than me. I buried the feelings of shame, self loathing and swallowed the “ugly pills” (medication” for my acne) thinking “It could be worse, some people have cancer I’m pretty lucky”

Dropping out of university after I had scholarships for engineering - “other people have it worse, some people didn't even graduate high school, or aren’t passing their classes. I chose to drop out”... So I invalidated the feelings of insecurity, inadequacy, and isolated myself from my friends and family out of embarrassment and shame.

Bulimia, anorexia, orthorexia … I struggled with food for years. “What’s my problem, other people have it way worse some people are born into families that are unhealthy and overweight” I shamed myself and kept my eating habits a secret from the world. Punishing myself with exercise and afraid of eating food.

It wasn’t until I started recognizing that I realized that each of these experiences had lessons. And that each of these lessons had shaped who I am today. The pain that I endured, albeit much of it self inflicted, was what inspired me to learn about my body, study gut health, and start to empower other people to take care of their health.

Without the negative experiences I had with the medical system, I wouldn’t have the same passion or fire I do today for alternative medicine and nutrition.

Life is an ever-evolving journey filled with ups and downs. Each experience offers us a chance to learn, grow, and become more resilient. One essential aspect of this journey is the pain we go through, whether emotional, physical, or psychological.

Pain is a powerful teacher. However, its lessons are lost on us if we choose to invalidate it.

Understanding the Nature of Pain

Pain, in its essence, signals that something is wrong. Like a warning light on a car’s dashboard, it tells us that there’s something needing our attention. If we dismiss it or downplay its significance, we might miss a chance to address the root issue, leading to bigger problems down the road.

The awareness of your pain means acknowledging its existence and giving yourself permission to feel it without judgment. This act is a form of self-love. When you brush away your pain or tell yourself that it's not significant, you're essentially telling yourself that your feelings and experiences don't matter.

A common reason people invalidate their pain is that they compare their struggles with those of others. Thinking, “Others have it worse than me, so I shouldn’t feel this way,” undermines the unique nature of personal experiences. Everyone's journey is individual, and comparison only serves to belittle our valid emotions.

When we allow ourselves to feel and validate our pain, it paves the way for reflection. This introspection helps us understand the reasons behind our pain, potentially revealing patterns, triggers, or areas of our lives that need change. By addressing these, we can ensure personal growth and avoid repeating cycles of hurt.

Invalidation can lead to suppression. And suppressed emotions have a sneaky way of manifesting in other areas of our lives, leading to physical health issues, strained relationships, and mental health challenges. By validating our pain, we open the doors for healing, both emotionally and physically.

When we learn to validate our own pain, it becomes easier to validate the pain of others. This builds empathy and strengthens relationships, as people tend to gravitate towards those who understand and acknowledge their feelings.

Pain, while it can feel like an unpleasant part of life, offers invaluable lessons. However, we can only tap into these lessons if we recognize and validate our pain. Invalidation stunts our growth, keeps us trapped in cycles of hurt, and robs us of the chance to heal and thrive. Embrace your pain, learn from it, and let it guide you to a richer, more understanding life.

Don’t suffer in silence - if you need help reach out! Our team here at Health Pillars would love to support you on your journey.